Thursday, 5 May 2011

Amazing Writing Tips #1: When Things are Slow Add Some Zombies

Zombies improve everything
Quite frankly I'm brilliant and thought I'd offer my brilliance to you in a series of short writing tips. What a brilliant idea.

So what should you do when you are stuck writing a boring part of your book? you know the bits, where people are just talking, usually about their feelings or the m.p.g. of their car or why they are searching for vengeance. No one wants to read those parts. They want to get to the part where someone's head is getting cut off or brain kicked out.

Here's the solution; throw in some zombies. Zombies improve everything. Look at Pride and Prejudice, I would never have read that book until Seth Grahame-Smith added a bunch of zombies. It went from polite comedy of manners for girls to UBER-CLASSIC in an zombie shuffling instant.

Also don't feel constrained by just using zombies. Other undead work too. Look at 'From Dusk Till Dawn', it was a bit boring until everyone turned into vampires!

A little exercise for you, finish of this scene by adding zombies:

"Juliet, I have to tell you something," Romeo said, fidgeting like a hyperactive meerkat.
"Romeo, I've said it before-"

Spoiler below:
"OMG!!!!! ZOMBIES!!!!!!" screamed Romeo.
"Uggggggggghhhhhhhhhh," moaned the undead.

Now try it on some of your favourite, boring scenes. It works a treat.