|This isn't me.|
Last week I read the first couple of chapters of Bekki Hill's book which focus on goals and identifying them. I looked at the list of things I wanted to do, lots about writing and I wondered what I'd need to sacrifice to reach them and whether it was likely.
Time seemed to be the main sacrifice. Time spent trying to write stuff is time spent not doing other things. Other things that might lead to more achievable goals if I chose them. I could focus all that time on my current job, become brilliant at it and earn lots (or at least more) money. that seems to be an easier, more achievable goal than trying to write a book and get it published. I guess most people choose this route. Or just have jobs they really, really love (Dear Boss, I like my job, I just like other things more.). But I chose to try and write and I'd put my chance at being successful at it at about 1%.
I was also struck by the idea that these might not be my real goals but things I do to try an escape my current life. Do I really want to write stuff? When I sit down to do it I spend the first 10 minutes mucking about or playing silly Flash games on the internet. But I think/hope I do that due to the procrastinating curse that afflicts humanity rather than that I don't actually want to be writing. (Where would humanity be now if the whole human race had done something constructive rather than procrastinate?)
One of the reasons I think I like writing is because I like making stuff up. I find nothing more fun than making stuff up. About people or things I see but usually in a "what if..." sense. I also like drawing random stuff, and it has struck me many times that the things I draw are 99.9% made up from my mind. And if I try to draw something real it doesn't look too similar, ask my dad about the portrait I did of him.
So I make stuff up and I write it down. I think I make stuff up quite well but it is the writing that is the main problem. But the more I write the better I get and hopefully that 1% chance will start to creep up.
But there must be other reasons?
Richard Parks who just broken a world record, climbing the highest mountain on each of the world's continents and venturing to The South and Geographical North Poles, raising money for Marie Curie Cancer Care. That's one big goal. I watched a programme about it and one of the people involved mentioned that he was different to others that thought of attempting this challenge because he was amazingly fit and also acclimatized to his environment quickly.
But it seemed to me that he had a strong reason to succeed. Something that he could hold on to when things became tough and he was close to breaking.
I hope my reasons for writing are enough to see me through all those future knock backs that are destined to come.
P.S. Sorry, all a bit serious. I'll be back to the silliness later.