Friday, 25 November 2011

Amazing Writing Tips #6: Give Up the Day Job

Do it! You'll be making millions from writing in no time.

Bearded loon hermit
What? You want me to explain? Ok then. Anyone connected with the writing world will tell you writing isn't easy. The story goes that you slog away at it and eventually, if you're lucky, you'll get published and make £2.88 in royalties.

But that's all lies.

They're just protecting their own slice of the writing pie bonanza. This cabal, the same people that refused to publish my ground breaking work 'The Very Silent and Uninteresting Boy' (about a boy who does nothing, 400 page picture book. Drop me a line if you're interested.), don't want us muscling in on their biblio-gold mine.

Illiterate weirdo drop-out
But you probably don't believe me do you? In the same way you think that climate change has to be real, because the lazy scientists looking for another government handout say so. So let me prove to you that writing is easy. Think of an author; Picture them...

Exactly, everyone of them is a freak, weirdo  or drop-out. It's got to be easy if this bunch can do it.

That's probably why no one picks up my books, they're just too clever.