Friday, 25 November 2011

Amazing Writing Tips #6: Give Up the Day Job

Do it! You'll be making millions from writing in no time.

Bearded loon hermit
What? You want me to explain? Ok then. Anyone connected with the writing world will tell you writing isn't easy. The story goes that you slog away at it and eventually, if you're lucky, you'll get published and make £2.88 in royalties.

But that's all lies.

They're just protecting their own slice of the writing pie bonanza. This cabal, the same people that refused to publish my ground breaking work 'The Very Silent and Uninteresting Boy' (about a boy who does nothing, 400 page picture book. Drop me a line if you're interested.), don't want us muscling in on their biblio-gold mine.

Illiterate weirdo drop-out
But you probably don't believe me do you? In the same way you think that climate change has to be real, because the lazy scientists looking for another government handout say so. So let me prove to you that writing is easy. Think of an author; Picture them...

Exactly, everyone of them is a freak, weirdo  or drop-out. It's got to be easy if this bunch can do it.

That's probably why no one picks up my books, they're just too clever.

Mark

Monday, 21 November 2011

You Know You've Been SCBWI'd When...

I've just got a song that sums it up. I know there's a lot of noise about the conference and how great it was, and the song covers that, but there's a bit in it for those that have had their ideas shot down and dreams shattered. Have a good cry, then paint the town (I'll come too if you want!)

And the video reminds me of the Saturday night party, I'm even in there with my red bow-tie!


So you and whose army are gonna stop me now?

Cheers,

Mark

Other SCBWI Conference Blog Posts:

Who Ate My Brain?
Julie Fulton's Blog

Friday, 11 November 2011

Goin' to the Conference and We're gonna Get...

Do I need to bring the cat?
Agents?
Deals?
Drunk and laughed at?
All three?
None?

Who knows?

I don't. But I'm quite excited about going to the SCBWI British Isles 4th Annual Conference. Lauren's quite excited too, as she's trying on endless dresses to wear on the Saturday night. I just nod and say they're all great, I'll live longer that way.

But what should I take? What is the most useful thing or the thing that will make me look like I know what I'm doing? Candy Gourlay has put up a check list on the SCBWI Ning of stuff to take, but do you have any advice?

I think the most important thing might be ibruprofen.

Cheers,

Mark

P.S. Hello bibliokittens!