Thursday, 12 July 2012

The Five Best Reasons to Write a Book

5. You hate your job - the obvious and easy solution to this problem is to write a book. No training needed, unless you can't write. Soon you'll have a bestseller on the shelves and be talking to Clint Eastwood about the script.

4. Kids' books need old fashioned morals - books today just aren't the same. They need to get back to the core values of honesty, intolerance and the supremacy of the British Empire. They don't even have the national anthem printed in the front any more.

3. You've spotted a gap in the teen vampire market - vegetarian film geek vampires that hum in the moonlight. Your heroine meets one at the cinema where she's saved from being drowned in hot butter. She's plunged into a world where vampires and projectionists are at war.

2.  It's a calling - writing runs in your family. You're great granddad carved gravestones. Grandma wrote over 4000 letters to her local MP, ten years after he'd died. Mum never forgot a family birthday card and there was the note Dad left...

1. A god sent angels to tell you to write it - because all the gods and angels don't have anything else to sort out.