Thursday, 27 September 2012

Book Pitch Rejections #2

I thought I'd post up some more recent rejections I've had from agents.

The Tangle Wood Disaster
The evil house developer Bryan Homes have bought Tangle Wood wood and plans to build a housing estate on it. Can Jimmy Acorn the oak sappling unite the warring tree clans and defeat the builders? Of course not, he's a tree.

Response from Copse Burning Agency: Very wooden.

Is this My Arse or My Elbow?
Picture book for kids that are likely to grow into middle managers.

Response from Tim E. Sheets & Associates: We're interested but would like to engage with some focus groups, run it up the flagpole  and see if it lights any bulbs.

The Casual Vacancy at Snogwarts
When Prof Bumblemore dies unexpectedly, the idyll school of Snogwarts is left in shock. But what lurks beneath Snogwarts prim exterior is a school riven with sexual tension and spanking. It's Harry Potter with all the discipline it lacked and Snape as you've never seen him before, in a gimp suit.

Response from Throbbing Knights Agency: Completely inappropriate.

Don't worry, I'll be back.