Wednesday, 12 June 2013

MARK KWON DO

ARE YOU A WRITER?

ARE YOU SICK OF GETTING REJECTED?

My name is Mark and if you take my eight week course you will learn a system of submitting to agents that I developed over two years of watching marshal arts films.

I call it

MARK KWON DO!!

I need a volunteer...ok, you'll do.

Show me your query.

SHOW ME YOUR QUERY!

Ok, now I'm going to give you one chance, show me your best hook.

All right, that was pretty good but you might want to leave out the love story involving hedgehogs with alopecia.

As part of my eight week plan you will learn three things:

  1. If you're going up against an agent then you need a wing man. We use the buddy system, people.
  2. The best way to get a book deal is a roundhouse to an agent's head.
  3. Self respect, you think people laugh at me even though I spend a lot of time writing about farting? Only if they want to eat pain sausage!

For a one time, up front fee of £400 you can learn the art of 


MARK KWON DO!