Wednesday, 11 September 2013

The Fidgety Pit of Procrastination: A choose your own adventure

Part 1
You sit at your desk preparing to finish that difficult chapter you're trying to add to your book. Instead of starting, do you:

Draw a zombie to stimulate your brain: go to part 3.
Make a cup of tea to refresh you for the coming wordsmithery: go to part 2.

Part 2
As you approach the kettle you notice several dirty plates on the work top. Do you:

Stay focused and make a cup of tea: go to part 6.
Decide to load the dishwasher: go to part 5.

Part 3
The zombie is is so good, with disgusting intestines dribbling from its mouth and an eyeball hanging out of its socket, that you decide to take a picture of it and tweet it. You get several responses from other writers. Do you:

Ignore the comments and return to your writing: go to part 1.
Ask the writers how they deal with procrastination: go to part 4.

Part 4
The writers tell you that they turn off the internet and reward themselves with wine, biscuits, cake and shoes. However you're not sure you believe them as they're all on the internet. You think you could write a good blog post on procrastination. Do you:

Go back to your writing: go to part 1.
Write a blog post about procrastination: go to part part 7.

Part 5
After loading the dishwasher you clean the kitchen counters. You notice that the lounge needs hoovering but it is getting late. Do you:

Do the hoovering: go to part 8.
Force yourself to go back to writing: go to part 1.

Part 6
You make the tea and the phone rings. It is the most talkative friend you have. Yeah, that one. Do you:

Answer: go to part 9.
Ignore the call, you have to do some writing: go to part 1.

Part 7
You write the blog post and then post it, spending the rest of the night obsessively refreshing the stats to see how many views it gets. You don't do any writing. YOU HAVE FAILED.

Part 8
You do the hoovering and then polish the ornaments and paint the walls. Now it is too late to do any writing. YOU HAVE FAILED.

Part 9
You answer and your friend tells you all about the dog walk they went on on Sunday. It is 3am by the time you get off the phone and crawl into bed. YOU HAVE FAILED.