Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Book Rejections #5

Some more books I've had rejected recently. Genius is never recognised in its own mind.

Ruski the Belligerent Bear

Danny and his family live next to the forest which contains bears! One morning they find Ruski the bear is living in their garage. Danny tries to persuade Ruski to move back to the forest but gets called a Neo-Nazi and beaten up. All Danny's neighbours say it's terrible  and something should be done but keep getting their fire wood from the forest.

Reason given by P. U. Tin Agency: VILE PROPOGANDA!

Guess Who's Watching You

Danny goes on to the internet and accidentally finds a site about making bombs! Which security agency will arrest him first?

Reason given by The Agency: Funnily enough they rejected it before I even sent them the email.

The Cat Has Got My Tongue!

A psychotic cat rips off Danny's tongue and runs around the house with it. Pop out picture book (Danny's tongue literally pops out!) with special glitter and blood colouring sections.

Reason given by every agency that received it: YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO WRITE BOOKS!